What Does a Gay Wedding Look Like?

Lindsay Ladd is an internationally renown photographer and artist who specializes in photographing LGBTQ+ weddings. She is based in Baltimore, Maryland but travels across the USA and beyond to help queer couples celebrate their love.

This is a common question I see when LGBTQ+ couples are just starting to plan their wedding, or when other folks have been invited to their first queer wedding and want to know what to expect. And the answer, at its core, is pretty simple.

A gay or queer wedding looks like two people who are completely in love, choosing each other in front of the people who matter most to them.

That's it. That's the whole thing. But let's talk about what that actually looks like in practice, because there's a lot of beauty in the details.

It Looks Like a Wedding

Seriously. If you're picturing something fundamentally different from what you've seen at other weddings, you can let that go. LGBTQ+ weddings generally have ceremonies and receptions. They usually have vows and rings and toasts. They have someone crying during the processional (usually multiple someones). They have romantic moments, joyful moments, and heartfelt moments.

The building blocks are the same because the thing being celebrated is the same: two people making a commitment to each other in front of their community. That's a wedding. It doesn't look different because the couple is queer.

What does vary, just like at any wedding, is which traditions each couple chooses to keep and which ones they decide to skip or rewrite entirely.

Some Traditions Stay. Some Get Reinvented. That's True at Every Wedding.

One of the things I love most about photographing LGBTQ+ weddings is watching couples make intentional choices about what their day looks like. Not every tradition was designed with queer couples in mind, so there's often a really beautiful process of deciding to keep, replace, or forgo certain traditions: they ask themselves.....does this tradition feel like us? Does it represent our relationship and reflect our worldview?

Some couples keep every tradition. The exchange of rings, vows, the first dance, the bouquet toss, the whole structure. It feels meaningful and they want it.

And some couples add, tweak, or replace rituals or cultural traditions, especially if they are gendered in some way. Instead of having a father walking a bride down the aisle, having both parents walking their child down the aisle, walking together as a couple, or being accompanied by their dog instead.

Some couples spend their whole wedding day side by side, starting with getting ready together, not feeling the need to elevate a 'first look' aisle moment.

Two grooms help each other put on their wedding day clothes

Some couples ditch the traditions entirely and build something new, like opting to have a declaration of intention, a few glorious toasts, and sign wedding papers as opposed to a formalized ceremony.

Here's the thing: straight couples do all of this too, mixing and matching traditions, deciding to keep certain cultural elements but not others. Nixing old traditions that don't feel relevant anymore (I can't remember the last time I photographed a garter toss).

Many couples write their own vows, have an unconventional ceremony structure, or opt out of traditions that don't feel like them. Queer couples are just that, but with a little more intentionality because they've had to think about it more consciously.

The Joy Is Real, and There is a Lot of it!

I want to talk about this specifically, because after 15 years and hundreds of LGBTQ+ weddings photographed, it's something I notice every single time.

The joy at queer weddings is extraordinary.

Part of that is just wedding joy, which is always high. But there's something that runs underneath queer weddings that I don't know how to describe except as relief and wonder and gratitude, all showing up at the same time.

These are couples who, in many cases, grew up not knowing if a day like this would ever be available to them. Who watched the legal landscape shift in their lifetime. Who maybe came out to complicated responses from family or community, and then showed up to their own wedding surrounded by people who love them.

That context underpins the entirety of the day. I can feel it when I'm photographing, and you can see it in the images. To view even more photos of queer love, weddings, and expression, head to my website for info and images.

The Dance Floor at a Gay Wedding is the Best Party in Town!

And then there's the dancing. I have to say something about the dancing. Unbridled joy, mixed with incredible dance skills that seemingly everyone seems to have, coupled with absolute dance hall bangers that the DJ is pumping.

I don't know how else to explain it scientifically, but dance floors at queer weddings are consistently, reliably incredible. People are there to celebrate and they mean it. And, I won't lie, I often jump in and enjoy myself as well, and when I do that, I'm often able to get in the mix and capture the most amazing wedding dance floor images:

How I Photograph LGBTQ+ Weddings

My work with queer couples has been exhibited in museums in Hamburg, Germany and Lausanne, Switzerland, and in 2022 I was invited to present it at the Cortona on the Move international photography festival in Tuscany. It's the work I'm most proud of in my career, and I think that shows. Read more about that festival and exhibitions on my website.

Speaking to a crowd at the international photographic festival, Cortona on the Move

Visiting my images of queer love on display at Jenisch House Museum in Hamburg, Germany.

Questions or Inquiries?

If you're planning an LGBTQ+ wedding anywhere in the world, I would love to be your photographer. I'm based in Baltimore, Maryland, but I often travel far and wide to help queer couples and their communities celebrate love. Discover more info and photos of gay, lesbian, trans, bi, and queer weddings on my website.

Email me, Lindsay, at Gingerfoxphoto@gmail.com.